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DIY Divorce: Is It Worthwhile?

February 11, 2019 by Katie E. Moore, CDFA®

You know the divorce process is hard. You know it’s expensive to hire an attorney. Is it possible — or desirable – to do it all yourself, without legal assistance? Like most legal questions, the answer is … it depends.

Here are some pros and cons of a DIY divorce without a lawyer’s expert legal help. Also, below is another option for you to consider: divorce mediation.

Pros

  • The most obvious benefit to acting as your own lawyer is saving money. Lawyers often charge by the hour (even by the tenth of the hour!) so every time you pick up the phone to share your woes, you’re racking up your bill. If you handle the divorce yourself, you don’t have to pay someone else thousands of dollars.
  • If your no-fault divorce is relatively straightforward — you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse agree on major issues such as property division and matters involving the kids – you can possibly agree on a binding settlement without involving a third party.
  • A good lawyer probably has many cases to handle and yours is not the only one in the pile. If you do-it-yourself, you can make the divorce your top priority and potentially save time. You don’t have to wait for anyone to call you back or take action.
  • If you signed a pre-nuptial agreement, there should be fewer contentious issues, enabling you to settle easier than if you have to start agreeing on how to divide the marital property consisting of assets and debts.
  • A DIY divorce might be appropriate in a small number of circumstances, such as where there are no children of the marriage, few marital assets, and perhaps the length of the marriage was relatively brief.

Of course, if you handle your divorce by yourself can have unfavorable consequences, some of which you can’t anticipate without professional assistance.

Cons

  • There’s an old saying that the lawyer who represents themself has a fool for a client.
  • It’s nearly impossible for you to be objective during such an emotional process. You need someone with a level head who is not as invested in the outcome, and that person is most certainly a lawyer.
  • Some courts won’t even permit a DIY divorce unless you have an uncontested divorce where you and your partner have agreed on all the major issues such as child custody and alimony.
  • Divorce laws differ in each state and county, so you can’t take a one-size-fits-all document that you find on the internet or get from a friend. It might be wholly inappropriate for your situation. In addition, it’s all too easy to get the court’s requirements such as filing deadlines wrong. You might wind up in a mess you can’t undo.
  • In some jurisdictions, you can’t get the forms online and will need to get them from the county clerk’s office. The divorce court employees might steer you to the right documents, but they certainly can’t give you legal advice. It’s likely they will tell you to consult a lawyer who can answer your questions.
  • How will you stay on top of (and understand) the laws? For example, the tax laws about alimony changed recently. Child support is another complex legal issue.
  • You probably will need to spend an enormous amount of time and energy to understand what you need to do. A good attorney is well-versed in the nuances of the process and the documents and can more quickly size up your situation.
  • You might be completely unaware of your rights under the laws. You could easily step into a minefield and unknowingly forgo significant assets that are rightfully yours.
  • Sizable tax consequences follow divisions of property. Therefore, you need to understand not just the divorce laws, but the complicated tax laws. Interpreting the Tax Code is not a game for beginners. You might need an accountant on your side, in addition to a lawyer.
  • If you don’t seek the services of a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), you could be agreeing to a settlement that looks “fair” on the surface but might be disadvantageous to you in the long run. A good CDFA can help you understand the future consequences of your choices in different settlement scenarios.
  • If your spouse hires a lawyer and you don’t, you might probably be disadvantaged because your spouse will be working with the “pro” factors above in their favor.

Mediation

When the couple can’t agree on all the top issues, some experts favor the use of a divorce mediator. A divorce mediator is a neutral third party who can help you resolve some matters without going to court for resolution.

In particular, a mediator can keep the lines of communication open which will hopefully lessen the ugliness that can result during the divorce process

A mediator doesn’t give legal advice to either party and can’t take sides. The process is voluntary and confidential, and lawyers generally do not participate unless the mediation fails and the parties have to head to court.

In some cases, mediation is less expensive and speedier than a divorce trial. The final agreement is legally binding. However, you might still need a lawyer to complete and file the necessary paperwork with the court.

The Bottom Line

On the whole, the disadvantages of acting as your own lawyer seem to outweigh the advantages in most cases. While you might save a lot of money, you risk losing your rights to financial assets. If you are unfamiliar with the tax effects of separating property, you could be in for nasty surprises later.

Mediation is a process you might want to consider as part of your divorce proceedings. Because neither of you is represented by counsel, you might be able to craft a settlement at a fraction of the cost and with less acrimony than if you relied on the legal system alone.

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Eric C. Jansen, ChFC

Fun Facts About Me

When he is not researching the next great stock to add to client portfolios, you can find him travelling frequently with his family to Jackson Hole Wyoming.

  • Hometown: Chicago, IL
  • Birth Month & Year: November, 1964
  • Favorite Hobby: Goldmining in Nome, AK
  • Favorite Food: Steak at Charley’s Steakhouse in Orlando FL
  • Can't be interrupted when: Watching the Discovery Channel
  • Hidden Talent: Finish Carpenter
  • Something on bucket list: Obtain Helicopter Pilot License
  • Family Pet: Goldfish

Steven C. Johnson, ChFC

Fun Facts About Me

Steve would tell you that one of the best parts of the day is spent talking to clients and relationships that result from it. When away from the office, he loves to travel the back roads of New England enjoying all the great sites that can be found off the beaten path.

  • Hometown: Townsend, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: December, 1967
  • Favorite Hobby: Playing Hockey
  • Favorite Food: Chicken Caesar Salad
  • Can't be interrupted when: Watching the Bruins
  • Hidden Talent: Cooking – Makes a great Thanksgiving turkey
  • Something on bucket list: Travel to Italy and Greece
  • Family Pet: Max – our Pomeranian

Frederick M. Lane, ChFC, CASL

Fun Facts About Me

When not managing client portfolios, Fred can be found relaxing with family and friends.

  • Hometown: Nutley, NJ
  • Birth Month & Year: July, 1954
  • Favorite Hobby: Dog Walking
  • Favorite Food: Italian
  • Can't be interrupted when: Listening to Pink Floyd
  • Hidden Talent: Landscaping
  • Something on bucket list: Space Flight - Tourism
  • Family Pet: None

Catherine M. Gareri

Fun Facts About Me

When not caring for her clients Cathy enjoys relaxing in her yard at home.

  • Hometown: Bellingham, MA
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  • Favorite Food: Steak at the Capital Grille
  • Can't be interrupted when: It's family time
  • Hidden Talent: Dog Whisperer
  • Something on bucket list: Spending a couple months on the Almalfi Coast
  • Family Pet: In Between Mastiffs now so a little blue fish “Willy”

Katie E. Moore, CLTC

Fun Facts About Me

When Katie is not busy taking care of her clients, she spends her time being a mom to her two little ones, Owen and Isla.

  • Hometown: Modesto, CA
  • Birth Month & Year: September, 1982
  • Favorite Hobby: Swimming
  • Favorite Food: Mexican Food
  • Can't be interrupted when: I'm cooking
  • Hidden Talent: Climbed Yosemite's Half Dome, twice - no fear :)
  • Something on bucket list: See the Northern Lights and Potty Train my 2 year old
  • Family Pet: Caddy and Sierra – our two cats

Hesper Duval

Fun Facts About Me

Loves spending time with 2 daughters and enjoys participating in 5k obstacle races throughout the year.

  • Hometown: Charlton, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: October, 1981
  • Favorite Hobby: Running
  • Favorite Food: Cheesecake
  • Can't be interrupted when: Reading a good book
  • Hidden Talent: Interior Design and furniture restoration
  • Something on bucket list: To travel cross-country in an RV
  • Family Pet: Charlie and Nora, both black labs from the same litter

Donna Fournier

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When not cheering for the Patriots, Donna spends her free time travelling throughout the United States looking for new haunted places to explore. She loves to wear her cowboy hat and boots when travelling out west.

  • Hometown: Swansea, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: February, 1961
  • Favorite Hobby: Exploring haunted locations
  • Favorite Food: Pizza
  • Can't be interrupted when: Eating my pizza
  • Hidden Talent: Rollerblading
  • Something on bucket list: Travel to Australia
  • Family Pet:  Had a pet skunk

Danielle Drew

When Danielle does not have her head in a book studying to expanding her financial planning knowledge, she enjoys anything active and outdoors, including visits to the beach and hiking.  

  • Hometown: Dennis, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: November, 1985
  • Favorite Hobby: Working out, concerts, and exploring wineries
  • Favorite Food: Lobster pot pie, cheeseburgers, BBQ, the list goes on...
  • Can't be interrupted when: Working out 
  • Hidden Talent: Country line dancing
  • Something on bucket list: To hike the 48, 4000 footers of New Hampshire
  • Family Pet: none, hopefully a big dog someday

Jay Willwerth, ChFC

Fun Facts About Me

Jay’s days are spent helping clients achieve their financial goals, followed by nights and weekends typically watching his daughters play competitive volleyball.

  • Hometown: Melrose, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: September, 1959
  • Favorite Hobby: Golf
  • Favorite Food: Anything at a Patriot’s Tailgate
  • Can't be interrupted when: Watching the Patriot’s Game
  • Hidden Talent: Competitive Volleyball Watcher (Mostly his 2 daughters)
  • Something on bucket list: Play a round of Golf at Pebble Beach
  • Family Pet: Bella, our Shih-poo
 

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