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What Questions Should I Ask at a Divorce Consultation?

March 2, 2019 by Katie E. Moore, CDFA®

You’re savvy enough to know that you need an attorney to counsel you about your divorce. The first step is selecting a divorce professional. If your divorced friends were satisfied with their legal representation, you could ask them for their lawyer’s contact details. Keep in mind that each case is unique. Just because your friend got a good settlement, it doesn’t guarantee your outcome will be similar.

Any worthwhile divorce attorney will offer a no-cost consultation. If they want to charge you for your first visit, run.

Seek consultations with several attorneys. Ask each potential attorney the questions below plus any others you might have. Compare costs. You’ll spend a lot of time with them exposing your deeply private personal, financial, social, and other details. In most cases, you should go with the lawyer you are most comfortable with, even if their price tag isn’t the lowest.

Remember that a lawyer won’t be able to give you conclusive answers based only on the information you provide at a first meeting. Your chosen divorce attorney will need to review financial and other papers and information to counsel you properly.

At initial consultations, consider asking your potential attorneys the questions below as they pertain to your situation. However, don’t wait until your meetings to start preparing for divorce.

Experience

  • How long have you been practicing law? Do you practice only family law?
  • What states are you licensed to practice in? Which state or states have laws that will affect my divorce?
  • Are you experienced with child custody cases?
  • What percentage of your cases settle? What percentage goes to trial in court?

Fees

  • How do you charge? On a fixed fee or hourly basis?
  • What is your hourly rate? Do you bill in 15-minute increments?
  • Do I pay an initial lump sum retainer and your time is billed against that retainer?
  • What happens if the retainer will be exhausted and my divorce is not yet final?
  • What are the costs I have to pay in addition to your fees (e.g., court filing fees, photocopying, process service, delivery, etc.)?
  • Are my spouse and I each liable to pay our own fees for the divorce?

Staffing

  • Can my spouse and I use the same lawyer or law firm?
  • What if my spouse does not have a lawyer?
  • Will you handle my entire divorce process or will other professionals in your firm be involved? What are their billing rates? Is their work supervised by you?
  • If my case can’t be settled, will you be my trial attorney?
  • Do you recommend hiring a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst or another expert?

Process and Timing

  • Do you think it is better to settle my case or litigate (go to court)?
  • What are the next steps and timing if:
    • My spouse has already filed for divorce?
    • I’m ready to file for divorce?
    • I’m the victim of domestic violence?
    • My partner and I can agree on a settlement of our assets and debts?
    • We have to go to court?
    • We signed a prenuptial agreement?
  • Do you recommend divorce mediation? What are the process, timing, and costs?
  • I’ve heard of collaborative divorce. What are the process, timing, and costs?

Documents

  • Which financial documents do I need to give you?
  • Which papers do you need to subpoena from my spouse? What happens if my spouse won’t provide them?
  • Which other papers do I need to provide?

Assets and Debts

  • How do the state laws determine how we divide our joint assets? Is it always 50/50?
  • Who will get to keep our home?
  • What is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)?
  • Can I deposit money in a secret account? What if my spouse hides cash?
  • Can I spend any money that is in our joint accounts? What if my spouse goes on a spending spree?
  • Can I run up the joint credit card bills for my personal expenses? What if my spouse does?
  • What if I received an inheritance from my parents — do I have to share that with my ex-spouse?
  • Can I qualify for Social Security spousal benefits?
  • What happens if one of us runs a small business?
  • How should I adjust my estate plan?

Alimony (spousal support)

  • Am I eligible to receive alimony payments? Do I have to pay alimony to my ex-spouse?
  • How is the amount determined under this state’s laws? Can it change later? Under what circumstances?
  • Is alimony taxable or a tax deduction?

Children

  • How will a judge determine who gets custody of our minor children?
  • Will one of us get sole custody or is joint custody possible? What are the various types of arrangements?
  • What are the possibilities for visitation rights if my spouse or I get sole custody?
  • Will my spouse or I have to pay child support to the other?
  • How is the amount of child support determined? Can it change later? Under what circumstances?
  • While the divorce is pending, will my spouse or I be allowed to travel with the children out of town? Out of state? Internationally?

The Bottom Line

You might not have the opportunity to ask all these questions at your initial divorce consultations. Pick the ones that are most relevant to your situation.

Takes notes if that helps you remember what the lawyer says. It’s probably a lot of information for you to digest. They might have a brochure with basic information that could be helpful.

Once you’ve chosen an attorney, keep asking questions. Your attorney might bill you for every phone call and meeting, but it’s critical that you understand your choices and the process and potential outcomes of this life-changing event.

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Eric C. Jansen, ChFC

Fun Facts About Me

When he is not researching the next great stock to add to client portfolios, you can find him travelling frequently with his family to Jackson Hole Wyoming.

  • Hometown: Chicago, IL
  • Birth Month & Year: November, 1964
  • Favorite Hobby: Goldmining in Nome, AK
  • Favorite Food: Steak at Charley’s Steakhouse in Orlando FL
  • Can't be interrupted when: Watching the Discovery Channel
  • Hidden Talent: Finish Carpenter
  • Something on bucket list: Obtain Helicopter Pilot License
  • Family Pet: Goldfish

Steven C. Johnson, ChFC

Fun Facts About Me

Steve would tell you that one of the best parts of the day is spent talking to clients and relationships that result from it. When away from the office, he loves to travel the back roads of New England enjoying all the great sites that can be found off the beaten path.

  • Hometown: Townsend, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: December, 1967
  • Favorite Hobby: Playing Hockey
  • Favorite Food: Chicken Caesar Salad
  • Can't be interrupted when: Watching the Bruins
  • Hidden Talent: Cooking – Makes a great Thanksgiving turkey
  • Something on bucket list: Travel to Italy and Greece
  • Family Pet: Max – our Pomeranian

Frederick M. Lane, ChFC, CASL

Fun Facts About Me

When not managing client portfolios, Fred can be found relaxing with family and friends.

  • Hometown: Nutley, NJ
  • Birth Month & Year: July, 1954
  • Favorite Hobby: Dog Walking
  • Favorite Food: Italian
  • Can't be interrupted when: Listening to Pink Floyd
  • Hidden Talent: Landscaping
  • Something on bucket list: Space Flight - Tourism
  • Family Pet: None

Catherine M. Gareri

Fun Facts About Me

When not caring for her clients Cathy enjoys relaxing in her yard at home.

  • Hometown: Bellingham, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: July, 1957
  • Favorite Hobby: Cooking and Entertaining
  • Favorite Food: Steak at the Capital Grille
  • Can't be interrupted when: It's family time
  • Hidden Talent: Dog Whisperer
  • Something on bucket list: Spending a couple months on the Almalfi Coast
  • Family Pet: In Between Mastiffs now so a little blue fish “Willy”

Katie E. Moore, CLTC

Fun Facts About Me

When Katie is not busy taking care of her clients, she spends her time being a mom to her two little ones, Owen and Isla.

  • Hometown: Modesto, CA
  • Birth Month & Year: September, 1982
  • Favorite Hobby: Swimming
  • Favorite Food: Mexican Food
  • Can't be interrupted when: I'm cooking
  • Hidden Talent: Climbed Yosemite's Half Dome, twice - no fear :)
  • Something on bucket list: See the Northern Lights and Potty Train my 2 year old
  • Family Pet: Caddy and Sierra – our two cats

Hesper Duval

Fun Facts About Me

Loves spending time with 2 daughters and enjoys participating in 5k obstacle races throughout the year.

  • Hometown: Charlton, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: October, 1981
  • Favorite Hobby: Running
  • Favorite Food: Cheesecake
  • Can't be interrupted when: Reading a good book
  • Hidden Talent: Interior Design and furniture restoration
  • Something on bucket list: To travel cross-country in an RV
  • Family Pet: Charlie and Nora, both black labs from the same litter

Donna Fournier

Fun Facts About Me

When not cheering for the Patriots, Donna spends her free time travelling throughout the United States looking for new haunted places to explore. She loves to wear her cowboy hat and boots when travelling out west.

  • Hometown: Swansea, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: February, 1961
  • Favorite Hobby: Exploring haunted locations
  • Favorite Food: Pizza
  • Can't be interrupted when: Eating my pizza
  • Hidden Talent: Rollerblading
  • Something on bucket list: Travel to Australia
  • Family Pet:  Had a pet skunk

Danielle Drew

When Danielle does not have her head in a book studying to expanding her financial planning knowledge, she enjoys anything active and outdoors, including visits to the beach and hiking.  

  • Hometown: Dennis, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: November, 1985
  • Favorite Hobby: Working out, concerts, and exploring wineries
  • Favorite Food: Lobster pot pie, cheeseburgers, BBQ, the list goes on...
  • Can't be interrupted when: Working out 
  • Hidden Talent: Country line dancing
  • Something on bucket list: To hike the 48, 4000 footers of New Hampshire
  • Family Pet: none, hopefully a big dog someday

Jay Willwerth, ChFC

Fun Facts About Me

Jay’s days are spent helping clients achieve their financial goals, followed by nights and weekends typically watching his daughters play competitive volleyball.

  • Hometown: Melrose, MA
  • Birth Month & Year: September, 1959
  • Favorite Hobby: Golf
  • Favorite Food: Anything at a Patriot’s Tailgate
  • Can't be interrupted when: Watching the Patriot’s Game
  • Hidden Talent: Competitive Volleyball Watcher (Mostly his 2 daughters)
  • Something on bucket list: Play a round of Golf at Pebble Beach
  • Family Pet: Bella, our Shih-poo
 

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